And it just so happens that between last night when I locked my bike in my apartment building and this morning, SOMEONE STOLE MY BIKE!
Here is a little bit of what I'm feeling like right now:

From now on I'm going to use a U-lock, cord lock, chain lock, and maybe hire a buff body guard and some aggressive guard dogs to protect my bike. That's right, bike thief - you won't get away with this ever again (on my bike, at least).
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